Along the way, Nellie had been promising to buy me things whenever she particularly wanted to get her way. Her tally had by then reached 1 cookie, 2 sparkly things, and an unspecified amount of flowers. It was also around this time that we started reading the posters on the underground. Some were funny, like:
Some were not so funny, like the Unbooked Minicab campaign. You can access that one here, but be aware that it's fairly frightening. Of course, after so many times of seeing the Minicab poster, and the sheer shock that they'd put that on a poster, it became an inside joke. Forget boogey-monsters--now you can fear Unbooked Minicab Drivers.
We finally got down to some shopping in Notting Hill on Portabello Road ("Portabello road, street where the riches of ages are stowed! Anything and everything a chap can unload, is sold off the barrow in Portobello Road."), which Janelle had never heard of before, but she had to experience. We took the street where the Beatles posed crossing the road, and there's a great little shop that sells plaques that say things like "If you're smoking in my house, you'd better be on fire" and "I used to have a brain but now I have children" and "Housework probably won't kill you, but why take the chance?".
When we got down to the stalls I bought a jacket and a hat that makes me look "jaunty" (Friends, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?), while Janelle wandered off for so long that I wondered if she had been snatched by an unbooked minicab driver. I then cashed in one of my sparkly things for some Body Shop lipgloss--ruby red and fabulous. Then we picked up some souvies including a "Good Girls go to Heaven, Bad Girls go to London" shirt for her sister, and then headed off for the Tower of London.
The most famous spot on Tower Hill is of course the Bloody Tower, formerly known as the Garden Tower, until Richard the Third murdered his two nephews there (don't argue, you know it was him), and had their bodies buried under the stairs. The only really problem with it is that they have very strict pedestrian traffic rules at the tower, and the entrance to that particular turret is around this corner and up the back, so you just wandering around asking "Where's the Bloody Tower? Where's the Bloody Tower?!"
The highlight of the trip for Janelle was the turret where Lady Jane Grey was held. You can see her name carved on the wall, probably by one of her supporters but possibly by her:
They used to write J's as I's.
They try to create the whole experience for you by putting cameras in the top room so you can see what it feels like to be watched all the time in a room with archery slats for windows that's about the size of my living room. And just in case any of you are wondering who Jane Grey was...:
Another super famous thing about the Tower is that there was this prophecy that as long as there were 6 ravens in the yard, the Tower would never fall. They now keep 7 of them in cages, which I think is cheating, but then nobody asked me:
The final stop of our day was at the Crown Jewels. The line is impossibly long, but the jewels themselves basically rock. As soon as we got out there was a sign for the Tower Jewelry store that said something about buying something sparkly (which we decided was a sign) and we went in. Nellers is even more awesome than I ever could have known, because this is what she bought me to count as my second sparkly thing:
Bling bling daddy, daddy bling bling
Bling bling daddy, daddy bling bling
Look familiar folks? That's right, because it's Queen Victoria's Diamond Choker. Apparently it was Bling bling daddy, daddy bling bling commissioned in the Bling bling daddy, daddy bling bling and modeled off the crown she had made because it was too Bling bling daddy, daddy bling bling. Sorry, that just keeps popping up whenever I talk about it. Or look at it. Or think about it.
Anyway the rest of the day was pretty much a blur. So ends Day Bling bling daddy, daddy bling bling.
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